Birthday – brainstorming

Closer to 30 than 20 as of today.
I’m no less of a kid than I was yesterday. I’m no less immature and socially undeveloped.
I’m no less skeptical and sarcastic. I’m no less a coward and I’m no less selfish.

I’m still running down a hill, being chased by the boulder of age. A very smooth boulder against my clumsy gait.

We’re all running, we’re all kids running from the same boulder. Some of us find it fun, like a father playing monsters. Others find it terrifying like an actual boulder relentlessly trying to crush you. Others find it a thrill, others a bore. Some feel nothing and stop in their tracks, wondering ‘Why am I even running?’. The great majority, will, eventually land in the ‘terror’ category, as will I. I enjoy living, running, far too much to have it taken away from me.

Unfortunately, nobody ever steps to the side. Nobody can. This is a two-dimensional hill, this is a platform game. You can neither go against the boulder or go off screen.  These result in death.  Sorry, that’s just the rules.

We’re kids, running from a boulder that won’t wear out. How could it? It doesn’t have stamina, it doesn’t have a limit, and the hill is smooth. as long as the path remains downward – which it definitely will – wearing out is not an option. Maybe someone can construct a sling or some kind of net as they run, provided they had the right equipment, but the boulder is big, and much too big for any single person to build anything significantly strong enough.

We all run this race alone, so there is no working together. Sorry, that’s just the rules.

I’m running out of options to stop the boulder. We never had any options, honestly. We get bolder and many of us, balder, but we will eventually fall flat or go off screen too quickly. Perhaps you will give up and sit down, waiting for the inevitable. I don’t know what I plan on doing.

Perhaps I’ll find a tree by a river, bask in its shade. Maybe, if I dream hard enough, as the ripples undulate through my soul, the boulder will hit the trunk and deflect around me, the whole time, green flickers of refracted light glaze my surroundings from the leaves above.

Who am I kidding? this is a two-dimensional existence, there is no deflecting around me. But maybe the tree can stop it once and for all. If I dream hard enough.

No dreaming? Oh yes that’s right. the manual strictly states that we are stuck in the real world. You can delude yourself into escaping it temporarily, but you’re still running for the duration. When you wake up, you find you have mercilessly progressed downhill without you even knowing. You can’t avoid the real world. Sorry, that’s just the rules.

There is one good thing that comes from these rules. We run the race alone. How can we possibly lose? Regardless of how you end it, you win.

Happy Birthday to the reminder that you will always be a winner.*

*Or a loser, depending on how you look at it. 


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